Obviously I am a bit behind in my news. I blame it on moving into the new house, but I wanted to take a moment and just share this.
I will be the first to admit, I was a boyband junkie in the 90s and early 2000s. Stephen Gately was one of the lead singers for the Irish boyband, Boyzone. Boyzone rose to fame in 1993, and enjoyed great success abroad until they split in 2000. Their best know and best selling song of all time was "No Matter What." (See below.)
Stephen's world became a much different place in 1999 when he decided to publicly come out as a gay man. It was initially not done by his choosing. He did this to head off a newspaper that was going to out him. Instead of them outing him, he decided it was in his best interest to come out on his own terms. The title of the article became "I am a Gay Man, and I am in Love." Stephen became the first openly gay boyband member. He paved the way for other artist such as Will Young, Mark Feehily (of Westlife), and Lance Bass (of N'Sync).
In 2003, Stephen and his partner Andrew Cowles had a commitment ceremony in Las Vegas. Later they took part in a civil union in London. Below is a picture of the couple.
Stephen's body was discovered on Sunday, October 11, by Andy and a friend. It is reported that Andy tried to revive Stephen for 30 minutes, but was unsuccessful. We have now learned that he of natural causes. Doctors are reporting it is possible he died for sudden adult death syndrome (SADS) caused by an undiagnosed heart condition. Stephen was only 33 years old.
Below is a screen shot I took today. It is the announcement, from Boyzone's official website, of Stephen's death.
It is reported that Andy is, understandably, distraught. He is blaming himself for not being able to save his husband's life. Reports say that Andy is making statements such as "My life is over" and "I will never forgive myself for this."
The four remaining member of Boyzone flew to the island of Majorca to console Andy and to visit their departed brother. The band members and Cowles flew to Dublin to pay their respects to Stephen's parents and to make arrangements for the funeral ceremonies. They have flown back to Majorca to escort Stephen's body home.
The private family mass is scheduled for Friday night, and the funeral service will be on Saturday. A memorial service will be scheduled in London at a later date.
The members of Boyzone reunited in 2007 and have been working on their upcoming album to be released in 2010. They were also planning to being their world tour in 2010. No one was said to be more excited than Stephen, who took the split the hardest in 2000.
This really is a tragedy no matter who the person is...famous or not.
Stephen was someone who came to embrace that he was a gay man, and he became a role model for so many youth at the time. It is uplifting that after coming out he was able to find the love of his life, Andy.
Furthermore, it is wonderful to see that coming out didn't have any negative effect on Stephen's career as a singer and actor. He was a singer and actor who just also happened to be gay. He was not a gay singer or a gay actor. I think that is a very telling tale that he was accepted in Europe, Asia, Australia, etc. I don't think the story would be the same if he was an American singer/actor. That saddens me to think we are still so far behind the rest of the world in accepting gay and lesbian people and their partners.
I cannot imagine what Andy is feeling right now. I know that he fled their home in Majorca after Stephen's body was removed. I doubt if he will ever be able to go back there. I think about what I would be feeling if the man I loved suddenly died at such a young age. I don't know how I would handle it, or even if I would be able to handle it. The reports state that Andy is just in complete shock. When he has been seen, it is said that his face says it all. It is frozen...numb...still in shock. Below is a picture of Andy as he was leaving the couthouse following the post-mortem hearing.
I have to admit, the more I have sat here writing this the sadder I am getting. I think what saddens me most is that Stephen was only 33 and Andy is only 31. They are extremely young (they are my age) and completely in love with each other. I am also saddened because at this stage in my life I don't have that kind of love and relationship with someone. However, I am going to choose not to have a pity party for me right now.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the Gately family, the members of Boyzone, and most especially to his husband Andy. We are all thinking about you and what grief you must be going through at this point.
I think that we could all learn a lesson from Stephen's sudden departure from this Earth. It is simply that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. We need to let those that we love know that we love them EVERYDAY. So, turn to the person you love and tell them...hug them...hold them...let them know that they are truly and unconditionally loved. Also, we should always strive to live life to the fullest.
I leave this post with three songs.
The first is "I Believe," sung by Stephen Gately. It is a beautiful and uplifting song.
The second song is "Better," performed by Boyzone. What an incredible song. I particularly love when Stephen is singing to his loved one in the video, it is a guy. That is progress friends!
The final song is "When You Say Nothing at All," performed by Boyzone member Ronan Leating. I think it is a touching and fitting love song to end with for such a beautiful and tragic love story.
If you want to read more about the death of Stephen Gately, click HERE.
I had never heard of him until now. Is that a bad thing? I do have to say I like that song. Didn't sound too boy bandy.
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty fine obituary blog post. I put a little bit on It's Getting Better and just a brief announcement on Smutty Stuff with a video of Stephen and Andy, done from pics of them mostly at the time they had their Civil Partnership ceremony in the UK in 2006.
ReplyDeleteI remember his coming out and there've been a couple of personal perspective posts from bloggers who are close to his age and who were inspired by him to do the decent thing too.
Stephen was more than a singer in a band, he was more than s solo singer - he was someone's life-partner and he was apparently a role model.
Thanks again for an excellent post.