Bit of an Update

I will post more of an update about what's been going on in life a little later. For now, I wanted to give just a brief update on the best friend!

On Friday, December 23, my family gathered at my Aunt Sue's house for our annual Christmas get-together. Just imagine a house filled with 8 of my 11 nieces and nephews (all under the age of 10) running around. I love my family, but they need to show some discipline towards these kids. I had a couple of them come up, hit me, and just be downright rude. Of course, being who I am, I "went teacher" on them and made them behave. I personally think my family is just glad I take the initiative to get them calm. Well, no one else will do it! Ugh!

Anyway, early in the gathering I received a phone call from best friend Jenny. I was excited to see her calling, but I was also terrified to pick up the phone. I have not spoken with Jenny in three months. Feel free to see the previous posts about the topic if you are not caught up on this one!

I went into one of the bedrooms, closed the door for some peace and quiet, then I picked up the phone. It was great just to hear her voice. We talked for about 10 minutes before the family began to interrupt the phone call. The beauty of it all is that neither of us was upset with the other. It was as if nothing had happened.

I got to catch up with her for just a few minutes. She has been having a hard time over the past month or so. Her family practice office was being shut down, so she has lost her job. It is a long, sordid story that is just disgusting to me. They have treated Jenny and her nurses so badly. With this development, Jenny and husband Chris have decided to make the move to Jacksonville, Florida in the next month or two. They will be living in Chris' condo he still has down there. Jenny is going to sell her condo in Greensboro, NC. This is a tough on for me since she is moving even further away...now 8 hours instead of 3.

It was a great time to talk, and I was so relieved when we got through it. I love my Jenny more than anything. So glad to have heard from her. We have plans to get together this week. This was one of the best Christmas gifts I could have ever received.

That is all for now!
Take care,
Joey

On My Own

I am Emily Dickinson!

withdrawn

adjective removed from circulation, contact, competition, etc.

Have I become the dictionary definition of withdrawn?

Something this week has clicked, and some depression has kicked in on me. It could not come as a worse time. This is the last week of school before winter break. It is a crazy time if you are a teacher. This past week has seen my students in 8 hours of music practice (chorus, band, or orchestra). It really cut into my instruction time with my kids. We have tons of benchmark testing going on in every class. Factor in that we have a field trip tomorrow and a winter brunch on Friday, this week couldn’t get much more insane. Now add in that the kids are nothing but crazy, and I am holding on to what little piece of sanity I have left.

As a teacher, I have worked hard to make sure I am always in a positive place when my kids are around. I don’t let them see what is bothering me. Some of them have way too much in their lives, and they don’t need any added stress. So, I hide many of the feeling going on inside of me. Now it seems that it is seeping out and needs to be released.

What is wrong with me? I feel very withdrawn from the world right now. My life basically consists of getting up way too early, going in to work before anyone else is there (well, except for one of our custodians), working my butt off during the day, and staying late trying to solve the world’s problems.

As I have said before, I work hard to help everyone else but myself. I know it is not the healthiest way to live a life, but it is all I have ever known. It is difficult to change what I am. There are some serious consequences with being the work-a-holic I have become.

First of all, I feel I have secluded myself from my friends. I have not spoken to best friend Jenny in 3 months. I have no idea what is going on with her life…until today. Just a few minutes ago I saw on her Facebook account that she and husband Chris are moving to Florida in 2012. Instead of being 3 hours from me, she will end up being 8-10 hours away. I feel as though I have lost my best friend. I am feeling lost without her. However, it is totally my fault for not calling her or returning a couple phone calls she has made to me.

I miss Jenny more than words can say. I want so much to call her and talk for hours, but I feel myself not being able to call her. My foolish pride has kicked in and is not allowing me to call her. Actually, it is probably the fear I won’t know what to say. I want so much to apologize to her, but I don’t have the words to truly say how remorseful I am for excluding her from my life over the past few months.

I am excluding all my friends. I miss them all. I want so to reach out to Mandi, Mikeal, Jenny, Mikey, Milo, and a slew of other friends who have been such a huge part of my life. I love you, my friends, and I miss you all! Please forgive me for keeping everyone out of my life. You don’t deserve that from me, and I am totally to blame. Please remember that I truly love each and every one of you.

My family has noticed it too. I have not seen my mother in about 6 months. Sadly, she lives only an hour away from me. I was lucky to see my dad, Aunt Sue, and my Uncle Gary at Thanksgiving. It was the first time I had  seen any of my family in at least 3-6 months.

I feel very isolated here. Not only am I isolated from my friends and family, I have isolated myself from having any social life. I don’t go out. I don’t meet new people. I am inadvertently making it impossible to meet people and have people in my life.

Why have I become such a recluse? Why do I feel like Emily Dickinson?

Part of the problem is that I don’t know how to get out of my comfort zone and make a concerted effort. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks for listening, my friends!

-J-

Thank You Word!

Today I was writing an email to a colleague of mine, and I wanted to add a piece of clipart. I typed "love" into the search box, and I was shocked by one of the pictures that popped up on the screen.

Just wanted to share!

BULLYING HAS GOT TO STOP! (Part 1)

My heart is breaking for this kid...

If you are not crying by the time you finish this, where is your heart? I will make more comments about this video tomorrow. Right now I just cannot seem to find the words, but I definitely wanted to share this with you!