Wow! It is 2:45 AM, and I am still awake. I seriously need to get some sleep. However, I feel the need to blog since it has been a while since my last post!
I want to take up the topic of sacrifice.
Looking at www.dictionary.com, the definition of sacrifice is the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
This year, for me, has been one of great sacrifice. Earlier this year I made the choice to sacrifice my involvement in a wonderful state (and national) youth organization that I have loved and devoted a great amount of time to over the past 13 years. Just a rough estimate I would tell you that I have devoted over 75 weeks of time through various week-long camps and conferences, judging events, etc. I dare to say that this estimate is low, but it is what I came up with on short notice. I realize that 75 weeks is roughly 16 months of my life.
Why would I devote so much of my life to this youth organization? It is simple…I strongly believe in the achievements of this organization. I have seen thousands of students come through this organization. I have been continually amazed at the life skills these students obtain that can put them ahead of their counterparts who do not take part in this organization. I have been blessed and privileged to be intimately part of dozens of these students’ and families’ lives. In fact, I have gained many life-long friends (young and old) as a result of this organization. In truth, I have learned many skills that I now employ in my adult life. So my involvement has been mutually beneficial.
Today I made the (4-5 hour) drive to Nashville to check in at my hotel. I am here this week for training, and my hotel reservations began today. (For those of you on my facebook account, check out the pictures. It is a rather posh hotel!) Once I got checked in, I changed clothes and got back in my car. I then drove an additional 2.5 hours further west where the youth organization was conducting a state-wide event for high schoolers called Roundup. It is a week of academic competitions where students are awarded scholarships for college. There is lots of fun and education factored into this week. Since I could not go this week due to this training session, I wanted to be there at least tonight.
When I said I made a sacrifice this year, I was not kidding. I abruptly resigned from three state committees that I either chaired or was a member of at the time. One of those state positions was on the State Council. The Council is a group of 20 high schoolers, 2 adult voting members (me being one of them), and one advisor. Leaving the Council was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I love these guys and girls. They are some of the brightest, respectful, and loving people I know. I have not seen many of them since the last meeting I attended in the Winter.
When I arrived at the auditorium, I was bombarded by youth and adult volunteers who were shocked and happy to see me there. (I decided to make it all a surprise. I wasn’t sure that I would make it there tonight, and I did not want to disappoint.) I ended up hugging and talking to them all for quite some time before the Opening Assembly and “Pageant” took place. It was wonderful to see them all. I didn’t realize just how much I had missed them all until I was there among them.
As I watched the Assembly and Pageant from my usual spot in the balcony area, overlooking the youth, I was greeted with tons of students finding me up there and waving me down. The pageant is a series of skits put on by the State Council. I was supposed to be part of the skit, but that changed when I resigned. It was a blast to watch. These kids really are talented and amazing.
After the Assembly, the students were divided off into their geographical regions for regional meetings. At tonight’s meetings, each district would nominate and elect their choice for State Council president, vice-president, and junior representatives for the council. Somehow, I was instantly put to the podium to lead the elections process. It has been my job for years now, and they figured I might as well keep doing it. I was happy to take part. I actually love the election process. It teaches these students a great deal about public speaking, the elections procedure, etc.
Tonight I stood up there like a proud father as several of my students that I have worked with for several years were nominated and elected. My favorite student in this organization is Daniel. I have worked with him for several years now, and I have had the opportunity to help him grow from an unsure and quiet pre-teen to a self-confident, well-spoken, and intelligent young man. (I cannot take all the credit…he has an incredible family unit.) It has been my privilege to work with Daniel through the years. I truly consider him a good friend. We have this bond that has grown over the years. Tonight, he was elected to be our region’s candidate for State Council president. I am sure I had this stupid grin on my face after that vote. I looked over at Daniel and just gave him that look of “I told you so!” He was so unsure about running, but I know him and how others perceive him. He is everyone’s choice.
After the meeting and election, I spent some time talking with the State Council members. It was nice just to stand there are catch up with them all. I have missed so much this year in their lives. They are a riot, and I love just being around them all.
Daniel ended up pulling me aside to talk with me. He and I talked about how it stunk for me not to be around this year. Daniel told me that it just has not been the same this year with my absence. That made me pretty sad. I know that this sacrifice that I have made has really affected others in way I could not comprehend. I have been feeling as though I abandoned my kids. That is not something I wanted to do, but I knew that the youth organization would go on successfully. I was needed this year to be full-on as the president of our teachers’ association. I have spent much of my year fighting legislators in Nashville. It has left me little time for other things. But, I knew my teachers needed someone to be their voice on the hill. I am glad to have been there, but now I am seeing the cost of that sacrifice I made.
Tonight, as I left the campus to head back to my hotel, I was overcome with a feeling of sadness. It was heavy and it hit me quickly. Though I did not shed a tear, there was this awful lump in my throat. I realized just how much these kids (excuse me…young adults) have meant to my life over the years. I just sat in my car for a few minutes and had to pray. I needed to let this out, and God seemed like the best person to hear this.
I realized tonight that I need to make time to be around these young men and women. I want to continue to be in their lives. I want to be there as a support system for them. I want to be there and offer advice on colleges, life, etc. Yes, some of them will go on with life and never look back, but there are some that I know will be in my life, and I in theirs, for the rest of our lives. I do consider some of them very good friends.
Was the sacrifice justified at the time…Yes. I had to make a hard choice as to where to devote my time and energy. I believe I made the right choice.
Does it hurt…Yes! More than I can truly express here.
Will I ever get back into this organization I love so much…I truly hope so!
Now, I am going to stop here. I am phasing in and out of consciousness. It is time to close this out and get to sleep. Thanks for listening, my friends. I truly am grateful to each of you for your love and support.
Take Care!
Joey
