Looking Ahead...Not Behind

Once again I am amazed by the outpouring of support these past few days. You all know what to say and/or do to really make me feel better.

I am out of the slump from this weekend. I have to say that I did not get any of my work accomplished this weekend. I cannot remember the last time I felt so bad that I did not get any work accomplished. It is very unusual for me.

I got to work on Monday determined to get out of this mood I had been in for a few days. Honestly, it did not take long to get out of that mood. My students came in on Monday with their smiles just dying to tell me about their Halloween experiences. It was at that point I realized I had to be there for my kids, and I have been since that moment. No matter how much my teammates and I complain about some of the days we are having because of a handful of our students, we realize what an amazing group of students we do have. We have made the conscious decision to not let that small handful of issues hinder our wonderment and enjoyment of working with these students. They really can make me smile for no apparent reason.

This week has already been a very busy one. After yesterday's marathon of science classes, I had to attend the school board meeting. I always find it interesting to see how a group of 7 citizens holds everything I do as a teacher in their hands. I will also take a moment to say that they really do have our best interests at heart. I feel very blessed to be working for such a wonderful school system. Even in the times I tell myself I am done, I look back and remember that all will get better.

Today was another insanely busy day. Besides dealing with my duties of teaching, I have to attend special education evaluation meetings of my students. Today was one of those days. We somehow ended up with two evaluation meetings running simultaneously. I went to one of the meetings, and my two teammates went to the other. To make matters worse, I forget about the meeting. I was running around the school getting work done. I was in the office and the secretary looked at me and said I was being hunted down because I was needed in a meeting. I instantly jumped sky high and made a bolt for the elevator to get upsatirs to my meeting (which was on the OTHER END of the building). It all worked out, but I felt like an idiot. No one seemed to care that I was late. What a wonderful group.

The rest of this week looks to be equally busy. I have a faculty meeting on Wednesday afternoon, supervising after-school detention, City Commission meetings, and a few other meetings I am sure I am forgetting. All of this has to be accomplished before Friday afternoon.

I am excited for Friday afternoon. I am heading out of town to attend a state council meeting for one of the organizations for which I have another leadership role. The reason I am excited? I get to work with the absolute best high schoolers in the state. Most of the state council consists of these top high school students. Not only are they top in their classes, they are also some of the most polite, sarcastic, and all-around fun people to hang out with. There...I said it. I enjoy hanging out and working with high school students. Never thought I would say that.

I will be away all weekend. I have to take a partial day on Friday just so I can make the 5 hour drive to the meeting place for the weekend. It is well worth it. I will be away ALL WEEKEND. That will be a great time for me to relax and not worry about school for that time. I will just be having a blast while working to plan these giant state events we host every year. I cannot wait to get in there and get these events underway. (I must be sick. I am excited about more work. I LOVE IT!)

The drive is a pretty nice one. I will actually pass through my hometown, but I doubt I will stop. If my dad's not in town I don't see the point. I may stop in on Sunday to visit my grandmother's grave. This is something I try to do every time I am passing through. I miss her more than I care to say. Thinking about her seems to be the only thing that will cause me to cry a bit. I am posting a picture of her and my grandfather.

This picture was taken in the mid-1980s.

This brings me to my last note of the evening. My friend, Aaron, wrote the most incredible tribute to his late friend, Bryan, on the 7th anniversary of his passing. As I sat reading it my heart was pounding while learning of what happened to his best friend. Aaron described it as also dying the day his friend passed. I whole-heartedly can identify with that sentiment. A part of me died the same day as my grandmother's passing.

I want to thank Aaron for sharing such an incredibly moving and poignant tribute to a friendship that lasts beyond life and death. I hope that everyone is as lucky to have someone in their life that means as much as Aaron's best friend.

The lesson Aaron was sharing with us is that after Bryan's death he found a new sense of self and a will to live each day to the fullest. It is a lesson we all should look to and take in to our hearts. So I will choose to look forward, hoping that I will live each day as if it were the last one. As Aaron so eloquently stated:

I vow that I will not arrive on my death bed in “one piece”. Seeing myself in a death bed has taught me to live. I guess Morrie Schwartz was right when he said, “you don’t learn to live until you learn to die”. Everyday, I tell myself that I am more alive than ever, I am capable and I will surf every wave, reach every dreams and fight for everything I deem important. At the end, I want to lie in my death bed saying, “Boy, what a ride!” 

Hope everyone is well and in a happy place!

- JC

Before I go, I just downloaded these songs from iTunes and can't seem to stop listening to it. Enjoy!