As I said in my last post, I went to the movies last night to see To Save a Life. I had not heard a single thing about this movie until some time yesterday when I pulled up our local theater on Fandango to see what was playing. After watching the trailer, I knew I had to go see it.
The story is about a high-school senior named Jake Taylor. He is you all American, boy next door type of guy. He is the one that everyone wants to hang out with and/or secretly wishes they were him. (I will admit that I know those people in high school, and yes I secretly wanted to be one of them.) Jake's world is turned upside down when his childhood friend, Roger, takes his own life in the middle of the high school halls. Jake is devastated and feels a great deal of guilt. He wonders if he could have done more to save Roger. He then decides to try and save others like Roger.
I don't want to give any part of the movie away. I sat in that theater just thinking about how the kids portrayed in this film are like the ones I see every day in our schools. There are those kids who feel completely cut off from the rest of their classmates, whether it be intentional or not. One of the hardest scenes for me to watch was of Jonny (played by Sean Michael Afable) cutting on himself. For those of you unfamiliar with cutting, it is a practice where someone will cut on their skin, typically with a razor blade, deep enough to bleed in order to inflict pain. Having had a group of students who were cutting a few years back, it brought these horrible memories back. I cringed in my chair trying to hold back any tears that were coming.
This movie has just about everything a high school kid might experience: school divisions, school violence, cutting, suicide, teen pregnancy, bullying, and even divorce. While it may be difficult for some to watch, I believe that the writers of this movie hit the nail dead on with their ideals of high school life.
In truth, my heart was hurting for these kids in the movie...all of them. I could see some of me in some of them. It was a comparison I never wanted to make, but it naturally came about during the movie. While I dealt with or just observed many of the issues faced in this movie, I am glad to say that we never had to deal with suicide while I was in high school. I don't know how I could have handled it if someone I knew took their life.
What would be worse is wondering if there was something more I could have done to reach out and save that person.
The central question that this movie makes is "What's my life going to be about?"
Sitting in that theater, I began to examine my life. I looked at where I had been, what I had done, and where was my life going. I also looked at the hard question of what's my life going to be about. If the story of my life were written, what would it say? Who's lives did I affect? Was there more I could have done? Did my life make a difference in the world? All of these questions have been cycling in my head all day.
The truth is that I have absolutely no idea what my life is going to be about. I don't think I have gotten there yet. I have much more self-exploration to do. I have so many bridges I need to cross in order to discover who I am to become.
Looking back, I feel as though I have had some sort of affect on the world. I am a teacher, and I have tried to show compassion and caring for all students in my care. I have tried to make each of them feel as though they are loved, valued, needed, and can make a difference in this world. They need to know that all their dreams are possible if they work towards them. In that way, I think I have made a difference.
Now, as I look to leave teaching in the next few months, I have to wonder "what is my life going to be about?" This is the part that is so hazy for me. I don't know what to think or where to begin. I do have some ideas of what I would like to do in this world.
And on that note, I think I will save those ideas for another day. I will definitely share them, mainly because there is one idea in particular that I would love to get your opinion on soon.
Not quite sure where this post began and even if it ended where I needed it to end. It may have been all over the place. Let's just say this movie hit me on a very personal level and has had my mind racing all weekend with questions.
Take care of yourselves.
Till next time.
- JC
You are wondering what your place in the world is?
ReplyDeleteI have this to say. I can still remember the positive influence my english teacher had on me. I do not think I will ever forget her.
Think about it?
I still think about the guy that I was closest to at school in 5th and 6th grade. He was the new kid, so he hadn't already decided that I was a nerd as my other classmates had. We drifted apart after that. Our junior year in high school I avoided him because he always smelled bad. Looking back I realized that he stopped bathing. He hanged himself during junior year. I believe that he was gay and got no support at school or home. I want to be able to help kids like that, and I talk to some gay kids here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ian, for the reminder. I still remember two of the greatest teachers of all time.
ReplyDelete8th grade Algebra I
9th-11th grade Mathematics
(Geometry, Algebra II, and Calculus)
These two ladies showed me so much more about the human side of a teacher. They showed me how to have fun in everything you learn. Best of all, they showed me how to have compassion for your students so that they feel loved everyday.
It is because of these two awe-inspiring ladies that I became a teacher. I will never be able to thank them enough.
GP -
ReplyDeleteI hear you! I would also like to be someone the kids can come to when they are having issues. I also want to be the type of teacher that my LGBTQ kids would come to when they need advice or just simple support. Perhaps someday I will be able to get to that point.
I wish you all the best.
I had seen previews for this movie and had it in to my mind to go to it. So last night I went to dinner then caught the last showing. The acting wasn't the greatest and the religious theme, while sincere, was a little overwhelming. I was really surprised at just how religious it was.
ReplyDeleteHowever it was a really good experience. Made me think about my high school days. How I trended toward the nerdy loser side but stayed just inside the "acceptable" box. The sadest part is how careful I was to make sure the people nerdier than me knew their place. How stupid. How lonely. I wish I could go back and be friends with everyone and not care about appearances.
Thanks for motivating me to go. An evening well spent.
C1-
ReplyDeleteYou are correct. The acting is not the best. No Academy Awards should be expected. There was an overwhelming religious theme to this movie. In its defense, it was written by a former youth pastor. However, I think the plot would have survived without it.
This movie does make us think about our high school experiences...good or bad. I know, for me, there were people I did not associate with simply because of how they were perceived or because of who they associated with as well. Even during our 10-year reunion I look at who actually came to it. I would say about 90% of the reunion were people who were in the cliques that ran the school social scene. Is it any wonder that those not part of those groups did not want to come to a reunion? Was their experience in high school that bad? Was I part of that experience for them?
The movie does make you think. That is one of the main reasons I enjoyed the movie as much as I did.
Glad you enjoyed it.