My Anyway Friends...etc.

As I sat here this evening, I tuned into one of my favorite guilty pleasures...Private Practice on ABC.

In this episode, Sam was giving a speech at his daughter, Maya's wedding. In this speech, he referred to a memory in which Maya referred to Sam as her "anyway friend." 

As explained by Sam, an Anyway Friend....

Is the one person in your life, whom

No matter what you say or do

No matter what they've been through with you

Will love you anyway. 

Of course, as I sat there watching this part of the episode, my mind went racing. I began to examine my life (as I seem to do more and more lately) and those in it. Do I have people in my life I could call my "anyway friends?" Are there people in my life that have loved me, love me now, and/or will love me in the future no matter what I may say or do...no matter what we go through?

I can sit here and say that, yes, there are those people in my life that I would most certainly call my anyway friends. I am blessed to have people in my life who have been to the end of the Earth and back again with me. Amazingly, they have held on to me even in times when it seemed I was slipping away. 

I think for someone to really be considered my "anyway friend," we have had to had gone through much in our lives. These are the people who know my inside and out. They are the ones who know what I am thinking  without me having to say one single word. (and vice versa) In reality, we could be having a conversation over the phone, and my "anyway friend" can read me just by the sound of my voice. 

Am I making any sense here? 

There aren't many people who I would consider an "anyway friend." I can count them on one hand. 

That is not to say that my other friendships are of any lesser value in my life. In fact, every friendship I have adds to my life. In the same respect, I hope that my friendship adds to the lives of my friends. 

I had a point to make, but I now find that I don't know if I can accurately relay what is running through my head. I am going to try. 

I feel as though I have been neglecting my "anyway friends." Heck, I feel I have been neglecting many of my friendships. 

My life has become insanely hectic in the past few months, and I have not found the time to enjoy my friends' company, love, and support. I have become a recluse. I get up at 4 AM each morning and go into work at 5. I leave work around 4 or 5 most days. There are many days that find me in meetings after school until after sundown. I will pick up dinner on the way to the house. I will then spend the remainder of my evening in my own little world. (Believe me when I tell you that there isn't a lot of time left in the evenings for much.) 

I am feeling the need to focus my life. I need to get back into a relationship with my friends...especially my "anyway friends." Now, these friends would say that there is no need for me to grieve over my perceived neglect of our friendships. They would tell me that I am being too hard on myself. I understand what Sam meant in his definition of the "anyway friend." However, I need to put these people back into my life. I see my life going back down a road I have been on before. This road is a very secluded and lonely one. I don't want to be there ever again. 

Where am I going with this? 

I think that I am going to step back from my blog for a little bit of time. Maybe I have come to want and need this blog too much. Perhaps it is my crutch. While I have enjoyed the blog, and the people I have met, I find that I sometimes allow my emotions to take hold of some of the lives and people I read about. 

Granted, there are those of you who I now consider my friends. There are even some of you who I have had the honor to meet. Some of you hold a special place in my heart and my life. But, as was pointed out to me today, I don't fully know the people I read about. I am putting a lot of my time and emotions into this blog world, and I don't think I am qualified to offer advice or perspective anymore for the simple fact that I may not really know the person/people I am reading about and talking to on here. 

So, it is with great regret that I am deciding to pull back for a bit of time. 

What does that mean for me? Well, it means that I am going to take a lot of the time I use for blogging to refocus life and get it on a track that will be a positive path for me. As much as it will pain me, I am going to be writing substantially less on here. I will limit it to only major happenings in life or something that strikes some convictions in my life. 

I plan to keep up with those of you I call my friends, and I will still be here for you. I am simply choosing to pull back from the blogs that are what some of us teachers refer to as "fluff." Those that are important to me will remain important. But, I am going to cut the fluff...cut out the time filling materials. I simply have to regain control of life. 

Okay, I really just need to find my life! There, I said it. 

I am evaluating where I want my life to go in the future. I need some time to find what I want, where I want to go, and how am I going to get there. I do have an idea of the path I want to take, but I need to spend some time making sure it is what I want. It will mean a somewhat drastic shift in my life, so there has to be some time for great amounts of evaluation.

It feels like I am saying goodbye...I hate goodbyes.

I am hoping this is not goodbye. Perhaps it is simply "see you later."

I do want to send a special thank you to those who mean have come to be some great friends and people I hold in high regard. So, thank you to Mikey, MNJ, MH, Dean, Derrick, David, BK, Lee, Nabil, Dan, Ryan, etc. I know I am forgetting someone, and for that I apologize.

With all that being said...I am signing off for now. I will see you on the other side...in time.

(What I wouldn't give to be snorkeling around Trunk Bay right about now!)

Take care of yourselves and thanks for everything.
- Joey