This is something that has been boiling in my brain for some time now.
Is the fact that I live in small-town America mean that I will be alone for the remainder of my life?
Here is the situation...I live in a small town in the bible belt portion of the southeastern United States. I cannot begin to describe how conservative this town is. To give you some idea, I live in the portion of our state that voted for John McCain over President Obama in a more than 2 to 1 ratio. Yes, I live in one of the most conservative parts of the country.
Second, I am am educator. I teach students all day long. I suppose you could view me as a sort of public figure. Even today, while I was at lunch with my best friend, our hostess at the restaurant was a former student. I am seen just about everywhere I go. There is seldom any place I can go within a 100-mile radius without being seen by someone I know. (That is not an exageration...it is the truth.)
Knowing these two facts, I often wonder if I am ever going to be able to go anywhere, meet any one, etc.
In truth, I am feeling more and more alone each day.
There are not many places that a guy can go to meet other guys. I have even tried the whole online thing, but it is difficult to get to know someone through a profile. I much prefer an up close and personal type meeting.
The hardest part of me dating any guy is that I cannot go out on the town with a date. I am destined ot see someone I know. With today's instantly informed world (facebook, myspace, twitter, etc) if anyone were to see me out with another guy, it may get around within a matter of minutes. You think I am kidding here? I have to say that I have had students put me on the prayer list before so that God would find me a girlfriend. (Hey, what my kids don't know can hurt them...)
My fear is being seen, someone putting two-and-two together, then me being outed to the parents of my students. I am always afraid that if that were to happen, parents would start to pull their kids from my classes. It is not right, but it would most certainly happen around here.
So, for now, I choose to live my life without dating or even trying to date at this point. I don't know how I will be able to meet a guy while living in this small town.
I have dreams of moving to a larger city. I need some place that is less conservative, a larger population, and a place to meet a guy. I have dreams of settling down and raising a family. Yes, I want kids despite the fact that I have 70 kids each day. I have always wanted to be a father.
What am I to do? Do I uproot myself and move? Do I just figure out how to date while in my area? How do I go about meeting a guy in this small town? Can I make it work?
So many questions and definitely not enough answers.
Feel free to lend your 2 cents!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings.
Good night.
- JC
PS...WHERE IS MY MIGRAINE MEDICINE.
I think you have to move. I'm not saying you should uproot yourself right this minute and hop on a bus to a larger city, but I think it is something you should start looking into. Research some cities, figure out where YOU want to live. And then, start figuring out ways to apply for/obtain a job in that area. Come up with a short list of places, and then act on it.
ReplyDeleteThings aren't going to magically fix themselves in a new city, but you need opportunities that I don't see you having if you're living in the type of situation where you can't even go on a public date with another guy. It's going to take a long time, but this is a huge and important life goal for you! Do it for yourself, you deserve it.