Recently, I have been giving a lot of thought to my life. It is never easy to take a true look at oneself through the mirror of reality. I have been looking long and hard at that mirror, trying to figure it all out.
I am finding myself at a crossroads...one that seems harder and harder to approach.
I make no secret of the fact I am always on the go. Beyond my job as a teacher, I am the yearbook advisor, president of our school system's teachers' union, member of several system committees, volunteer a great amount of time to a national youth organization, chair a state committee in this youth organization, and I sit on two other youth committees.
I am not complaining about everything I do. In fact, each piece of my involvement brings me some peace and joy in life. All of my involvement has helped to shape the person I have become today. The person I am today is much different than I would have ever imagined five or ten years ago.
I am finding that there comes a time in life when re-evaluation of priorities, wants, and needs is warranted.
So what am I looking at right now?
Over the past few days, I have had this voice in my head telling me it is time to slow down and pull back from some of the activities I am involved with to date. Specifically, I have begun to write a resignation letter for the committees I am involved in with the youth organization I love. It is a decision I am not taking lightly.
I have been a volunteer with this youth organization for 12 years, and it has meant the world to me. I have loved having the opportunity to serve on the local, state, and national level of this organization. I have met and worked with, literally, thousands of youth. I hope that I have made an impression or inspired at least one youth in this world. If I have reached only one then it will all have been worth it.
The idea of resigning from my committees and pulling back on my involvement frightens and worries me. This has been such a huge part of my life for 12 years, and I cannot see life without it. I will continue to work with the organization, but I need to let others move into the leadership.
Why am I thinking about this?
Frankly...I am worn out!
I am the type of person who will go and go and go. The only problem with that type of mentality is that I will just go until I crash. I have hit the proverbial wall face first! I am physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I am running on reserves, and I don't know how much longer I can keep this pace going.
Besides the exhaustion, I believe I need to find some time for me. Even writing that sound selfish to me. I have always put myself at the end of my priorities. Everyone else has come first in my life. I love living a life for serving others. However, now I see the importance of putting oneself a bit higher on the priority list.
***BREAK***
I am going to stop here for now. Need to get some sleep. More to come tomorrow!
Been there, done that. You can't give to others if your own well is running dry. Good on ya for putting on the brakes and realizing you need some time to refresh yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou always have to take care of yourself first- a lesson easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've pulled back from quite significant and heavy involvements after many years and sometimes it's better to get out while the experience is still good.
ReplyDeleteJust be a tad careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water, if you follow me.
How about pulling back from just some of the "duties" so give yourself some more free time?
ReplyDeleteJoey!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you shouldn't look at it as giving up your role but rather giving someone else a turn.
-Dean
I am actually pleased to read this, you need to step back from the work and enjoy more of the play.
ReplyDelete