Yesterday I was in Nashville to interview for this job I have been wanting. This is the third time I have interviewed for this type of position. When I left the building I decided that good or bad I was going to be okay. I did not want a repeat of last time.
I just got a call from my friend who sits on the Board of Directors. Evidently the Board chose another candidate. Okay, no problem! I thanked my friend for letting me know, and I told her to have a great time in Nashville tonight.
Then...BAM! It hit me like a ton of bricks...nothing but sheer anger and frustration!
Like everything else I do in this life, I put my hear and soul into it. I give every project my all. While many will tell me that a work ethic like that is to be admired. Blah! The sad truth is that when something like this happens, I take it as a failure. I am a perfectionist, and I strive for excellence. Being turned down tells me that there is something lacking or I did something wrong.
Yes, I am taking this very personally. It is all I have ever done. I take everything on a personal level. While it can be a plus on most days, it royally vacuums (aka...sucks!) in this instance. I am feeling very much like a failure right not. Yes, I am mad. Yes, I am frustrated. Yes, I am severely confused.
I would love nothing more than to kick, scream, swear, hit something, run, etc. I need to let this out somehow. I cannot let this fester up like I do all other bouts of anger. This one is too much to hold in right now.
I am so freaking confused right now. Why am I being asked to come back and interview again if they obviously have no intention of hiring me. I need to know something. I am afraid, however, that when I ask they may not tell me anything. How can I change something or improve myself if they won't tell me?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I am shaking so badly right now. I mean I am in a fit!
At this point, I will stop. I need to go make myself busy so I will calm down.
Thanks all for listening.
Love you all!
Joey
PS...This is one of those moments in my life that I wish I had someone here with me to hold me and tell me that everything is alright. Alas...
JC- I'm not a regular poster or commenter but rest assured it does bother me to see you like this. I will start out by saying that you cannot consider yourself a failure in any way. The job you applied for is just a job, remember what it is that you do at your core- you educate our young! I can't think of any profession more deserving of respect than that.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fantastic person and deserve happiness! For yourself, sit quiet and think of what that would entail and make it happen as only you can do! trim all the extraneous off and go for what you want.
While I don't know you other than by your writing, I would consider you a kindred spirit based on that alone. Smile and let the world know you are in charge!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
SW
tell you everything is alright - but it is. one thing you need to consider is that all hiring bodies are looking for certain characteristics. I would advi
everything will be alrite man :)
ReplyDeleteAWWWWWW!!!! I'm so sorry to hear that!!! Sending many e-hugs your way since I'm not there to do it in person :::hug::: :::hug::: :::Hug:::
ReplyDeleteIt can't hurt to ask how you can improve, especially if you have friends on the board- it may be easier, right?
I hope you found a way to take out your anger and if there's anything you need do not hesitate to give me a call or text.
Hi
ReplyDeleteI dont think you are alone with your frustrations after putting so much effort in.
I would personally ask for SPECIFIC feedback from the interviewers on your interview/CV (I think you call it a resume??) and how they think you could improve your chances at the next interview.
Could be useful.
Good luck whatever you do.
Joey!
ReplyDeleteObviously they asked you back because they saw some potential in you and needed the interview to help them make their choice.
That should tell you something, right?
Just because someone else got the position doesn't mean you're worthless. It just means someone else got the position, that's all.
And I agree with Stephen.
I'd ask them what you were lacking once your found out your didn't get the job. If anything just for feedback and improving your chances next time around.
(((HUGS)))
-Dean