November 6, 2012
October 20, 2012
Whose Closet???
First off, I rarely find time to read a book simply for my own personal joy of it. During the school year, my time is pretty full with papers to grade, lesson plans to write, parents to call/visit, being the face of the teachers as the association president, and the list goes on and on! Every now and then, I catch the glimpse of a book that peaks my interest. This week was one of those times.
Last week I read an article that was spreading across the web, Facebook, ABC news, etc. It was about a man from Tennessee who made the commitment to live as a gay man for exactly one year. That's right, you read it correctly! This straight, uber-conservative, Jerry Falwell-type Christian man from the heart of the Bible Belt decided to live a complete year as gay.
As someone who has lived in Tennessee his entire life, I know many people like Tim. Not to mention that I completely identify and understand his upbringing in the church. So, I instantly knew where he was coming from in his life. However, I was blown away by the fact that he would choose to turn his life upside down to live as a gay man. I had to get this book.
Thank goodness for my iPad. The book was only a click away. I tore through this book over the past 24 hours. (Yes, I actually found the time to read an entire book. It doesn't happen often!) I saw in utter amazement at the events that led up to Tim's decision to conduct this "experiment."
Given that I don't want to give you the details of the book. I will just say that it was easy to feel the pain, anguish, fear, and love throughout this book. I just couldn't put it down. I wanted to know about Tim's year. Let's just say there are some events that take place during Tim's year that can only described as either divine intervention or insane irony.
I will think about writing my response to this book after I have had time to process it. For now, I just wanted to give you an idea of the next book to read.
Last week I read an article that was spreading across the web, Facebook, ABC news, etc. It was about a man from Tennessee who made the commitment to live as a gay man for exactly one year. That's right, you read it correctly! This straight, uber-conservative, Jerry Falwell-type Christian man from the heart of the Bible Belt decided to live a complete year as gay.
As someone who has lived in Tennessee his entire life, I know many people like Tim. Not to mention that I completely identify and understand his upbringing in the church. So, I instantly knew where he was coming from in his life. However, I was blown away by the fact that he would choose to turn his life upside down to live as a gay man. I had to get this book.
Thank goodness for my iPad. The book was only a click away. I tore through this book over the past 24 hours. (Yes, I actually found the time to read an entire book. It doesn't happen often!) I saw in utter amazement at the events that led up to Tim's decision to conduct this "experiment."
Given that I don't want to give you the details of the book. I will just say that it was easy to feel the pain, anguish, fear, and love throughout this book. I just couldn't put it down. I wanted to know about Tim's year. Let's just say there are some events that take place during Tim's year that can only described as either divine intervention or insane irony.
I will think about writing my response to this book after I have had time to process it. For now, I just wanted to give you an idea of the next book to read.
October 14, 2012
Holding Hands and Ingrid
For two years I have been dying to see Ingrid Michaelson in concert. Two years ago I had 2nd row tickets to see her in concert, but I ended up having to be out of town that weekend. I was crushed. Finally, Ingrid rolled into Knoxville last night and put on a most incredible concert.
The only low point of the experience was the two girls sitting next to me. They couldn't have been older than 17 or 18. They were making fun of people around us in the theater. It took all the strength I had not to say something to them. Instead, I chose to enjoy the concert.
During the concert something caught my eye, and it kept my attention for quite a while. Sitting behind me and slightly to the left were these two guys. They obviously are in a relationship. How did I know that? It was pretty clear when they were holding hands through some of Ingrid's romantic-type songs. Being the polite Southerner that I am, I did not conspicuously turn completely around and stare. Luckily, my peripheral vision is excellent, so I watched out the corner of my eye.
Yes, I found it to be very "cute" and romantic. I just sat back, enjoyed the incredible music and coyly smiled at the thought of these two guys behind me in love and holding hands.
Growing up in what I call the "buckle of the Bible Belt," seeing two guys holding hands in public is something I never expect to see. Just a few years ago they would have been ridiculed. But, that was not the case this time. I know several other people around us all noticed them. I even saw many of these people smiling once they saw it too. I am amazed and thrilled at the fact that even in the South a gay couple can be in public holding hands. It says a lot of how far my beloved South has come.
Am I saying that it is the same everywhere in the South...absolutely not. However, the more urban areas of the South, such as Knoxville, seem to be transitioning in the life of the cities.
I will be totally honest. I was somewhat saddened and jealous at the same time. I saw this young couple (maybe 23 or 24...man, I feel old) of guys can be open in their love for one another. While I had hope and happiness in my heart, I found myself longing for the same thing. I look back at the journey of my life, and it is hard to imagine how my life would be different if I were able to come out to myself and others in my early 20s instead of waiting until I was 30.
I know I am tough on myself, and that is something I am used to at this point. However, I know that I have got to make some changes in my life if I want to be able to finally open up to a future relationship(s). I have to realize that it is perfectly okay to open up and love someone.
Just wanted to share this little bit with you. I realize now that there is hope for the South.
Take care!
Joey
The only low point of the experience was the two girls sitting next to me. They couldn't have been older than 17 or 18. They were making fun of people around us in the theater. It took all the strength I had not to say something to them. Instead, I chose to enjoy the concert.
During the concert something caught my eye, and it kept my attention for quite a while. Sitting behind me and slightly to the left were these two guys. They obviously are in a relationship. How did I know that? It was pretty clear when they were holding hands through some of Ingrid's romantic-type songs. Being the polite Southerner that I am, I did not conspicuously turn completely around and stare. Luckily, my peripheral vision is excellent, so I watched out the corner of my eye.
Yes, I found it to be very "cute" and romantic. I just sat back, enjoyed the incredible music and coyly smiled at the thought of these two guys behind me in love and holding hands.
Growing up in what I call the "buckle of the Bible Belt," seeing two guys holding hands in public is something I never expect to see. Just a few years ago they would have been ridiculed. But, that was not the case this time. I know several other people around us all noticed them. I even saw many of these people smiling once they saw it too. I am amazed and thrilled at the fact that even in the South a gay couple can be in public holding hands. It says a lot of how far my beloved South has come.
Am I saying that it is the same everywhere in the South...absolutely not. However, the more urban areas of the South, such as Knoxville, seem to be transitioning in the life of the cities.
I will be totally honest. I was somewhat saddened and jealous at the same time. I saw this young couple (maybe 23 or 24...man, I feel old) of guys can be open in their love for one another. While I had hope and happiness in my heart, I found myself longing for the same thing. I look back at the journey of my life, and it is hard to imagine how my life would be different if I were able to come out to myself and others in my early 20s instead of waiting until I was 30.
I know I am tough on myself, and that is something I am used to at this point. However, I know that I have got to make some changes in my life if I want to be able to finally open up to a future relationship(s). I have to realize that it is perfectly okay to open up and love someone.
Just wanted to share this little bit with you. I realize now that there is hope for the South.
Take care!
Joey
September 15, 2012
Challenges Ahead
For the record, I don't enjoy talking about my emotions! This has been somewhat of a challenge in my life. I have never been one to show a great deal of negative emotion. You would never know I was angry, upset, or downright depressed. I have become a master (or at least I thought so) of hiding my emotions from the world. I don't have the luxury of being depressed, angry, upset, etc...especially when I am at work. I teach 6th graders that need me everyday. I cannot be a source of negativity in their lives. So, I put up walls and shield my emotions.
This all came to a head this week. For the past 6+ months, I have been battling a depression that I cannot seem to get past. It has been a very rough time. I basically have been going to work, staying late each day, and coming home. When I get home, I virtually lock myself in the house and block the outside world. I have felt trapped in this rut. I have felt like a prisoner in my own house. Thus, the depression has been difficult to fight.
I finally decided to go see a doctor for help. I went to a local, and very well respected psychiatrist here in town. We had quite the discussion about present life, work, home life, hobbies, etc. Then we got into family history, childhood, my teenage years, college, and beyond.
At the end of the session the doctor delivered some very interesting thoughts. He said it was obvious that I am ADD/ADHD. My only thought was "NO S#!%." He thinks that my ADD/ADHD can be a contributing factor to my depression.
Then came a blow to my psyche! The doctor seems to think I could have Bipolar II disorder. I was sitting there freaking out in my own head. I have a cousin who has is bipolar. I thought, "I am nothing like her." Then the doctor explained the difference between what my cousin has and the type of bipolar disorder he thinks I have.
We discussed a number of options. He has given me two weeks to do my own research on the disorder and a number of treatment options. I like being able to look everything up and to be part of the decision for treatment.
I left the doctor and went straight to the school to get work done. However, the only problem was that I was in panic mode. I couldn't think of anything else except what the doctor had told me. I just went home and locked myself up for the night. All evening long I was in panic mode. My mind was racing with various scenarios. I could not get settled down.
I had to go to work the next day. That meant I had to put on the brave face, all for the sake of my kids. However, all week long I have had these thoughts in the back of my mind.
Now I am left wondering what to do. The whole idea of medication gives me chills. I have never been one who likes to be medicated. In my mind, it means I cannot take care of myself. It means I have failed on some level to manage my life. However, I am working through those struggles trying to decide what to do.
The simple truth is that I need to get my life back on track. I need to recover and take the world by storm! There is so much more I need to accomplish, and this is an unacceptable roadblock.
For those of you that pray, I sure could use your prayers!
Love you, friends!
Joey
This all came to a head this week. For the past 6+ months, I have been battling a depression that I cannot seem to get past. It has been a very rough time. I basically have been going to work, staying late each day, and coming home. When I get home, I virtually lock myself in the house and block the outside world. I have felt trapped in this rut. I have felt like a prisoner in my own house. Thus, the depression has been difficult to fight.
I finally decided to go see a doctor for help. I went to a local, and very well respected psychiatrist here in town. We had quite the discussion about present life, work, home life, hobbies, etc. Then we got into family history, childhood, my teenage years, college, and beyond.
At the end of the session the doctor delivered some very interesting thoughts. He said it was obvious that I am ADD/ADHD. My only thought was "NO S#!%." He thinks that my ADD/ADHD can be a contributing factor to my depression.
Then came a blow to my psyche! The doctor seems to think I could have Bipolar II disorder. I was sitting there freaking out in my own head. I have a cousin who has is bipolar. I thought, "I am nothing like her." Then the doctor explained the difference between what my cousin has and the type of bipolar disorder he thinks I have.
We discussed a number of options. He has given me two weeks to do my own research on the disorder and a number of treatment options. I like being able to look everything up and to be part of the decision for treatment.
I left the doctor and went straight to the school to get work done. However, the only problem was that I was in panic mode. I couldn't think of anything else except what the doctor had told me. I just went home and locked myself up for the night. All evening long I was in panic mode. My mind was racing with various scenarios. I could not get settled down.
I had to go to work the next day. That meant I had to put on the brave face, all for the sake of my kids. However, all week long I have had these thoughts in the back of my mind.
Now I am left wondering what to do. The whole idea of medication gives me chills. I have never been one who likes to be medicated. In my mind, it means I cannot take care of myself. It means I have failed on some level to manage my life. However, I am working through those struggles trying to decide what to do.
The simple truth is that I need to get my life back on track. I need to recover and take the world by storm! There is so much more I need to accomplish, and this is an unacceptable roadblock.
For those of you that pray, I sure could use your prayers!
Love you, friends!
Joey
September 2, 2012
Patrik 1.5
Tonight I decided to look on Netflix for a movie I had yet to see. This movie, Patrik Age 1.5, came across my recommended movies. I looked up the summary of the movie and was instantly intrigued.
You can judge for yourself, but I loved this movie...even if it is in Swedish.
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