The only low point of the experience was the two girls sitting next to me. They couldn't have been older than 17 or 18. They were making fun of people around us in the theater. It took all the strength I had not to say something to them. Instead, I chose to enjoy the concert.
During the concert something caught my eye, and it kept my attention for quite a while. Sitting behind me and slightly to the left were these two guys. They obviously are in a relationship. How did I know that? It was pretty clear when they were holding hands through some of Ingrid's romantic-type songs. Being the polite Southerner that I am, I did not conspicuously turn completely around and stare. Luckily, my peripheral vision is excellent, so I watched out the corner of my eye.
Yes, I found it to be very "cute" and romantic. I just sat back, enjoyed the incredible music and coyly smiled at the thought of these two guys behind me in love and holding hands.
Growing up in what I call the "buckle of the Bible Belt," seeing two guys holding hands in public is something I never expect to see. Just a few years ago they would have been ridiculed. But, that was not the case this time. I know several other people around us all noticed them. I even saw many of these people smiling once they saw it too. I am amazed and thrilled at the fact that even in the South a gay couple can be in public holding hands. It says a lot of how far my beloved South has come.
Am I saying that it is the same everywhere in the South...absolutely not. However, the more urban areas of the South, such as Knoxville, seem to be transitioning in the life of the cities.
I will be totally honest. I was somewhat saddened and jealous at the same time. I saw this young couple (maybe 23 or 24...man, I feel old) of guys can be open in their love for one another. While I had hope and happiness in my heart, I found myself longing for the same thing. I look back at the journey of my life, and it is hard to imagine how my life would be different if I were able to come out to myself and others in my early 20s instead of waiting until I was 30.
I know I am tough on myself, and that is something I am used to at this point. However, I know that I have got to make some changes in my life if I want to be able to finally open up to a future relationship(s). I have to realize that it is perfectly okay to open up and love someone.
Just wanted to share this little bit with you. I realize now that there is hope for the South.
Take care!
Joey
I wish sometimes, that I had come out earlier and made better choices that might have lead to a relationship instead of being 41 and alone.
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