Lonely is the Name of the Game

Not totally sure how this post is going to go, but let's begin...

Over the past few weeks school has begun. We are now into our third full week of school. I cannot believe that, but it is true. The first two weeks seemed to drag on some days while flying by on others. It has had a number of challenges already. (Students suspended for fighting, a student suspended for inappropriate writing, a new student who cries every morning before coming in, etc.)

I will say that it has been wonderful getting to see, talk, and interact with my colleagues and friends. I have missed "my people." Every day I am surrounded by people who love me and want me around.

Why, then, do I feel so alone?

As I sit here writing this a wave of confusion and sadness are coming over me. I don't quite know how to explain it. I got home around 5PM on Friday and pretty much locked myself away in my house for the night. On Saturday I laid around in bed until 1PM. I then got up and made the hour-long drive across the state line to Asheville, NC. I did a bit of shopping while there, and then I went to the movies.

I went to see "The Help." It was just what I needed! It was funny, emotional, and thought-provoking...just my type of movie. While in the theater it really hit me that I was there alone. I was glad to have these two women sitting next to me during the movie. It was a packed house, so there was no space between us. They were funny, and I felt somewhat less alone at that point. However, looking around the theater it was clear to me that I was one of the few people who came to the theater alone. That was a hard realization.

Of course, today is Sunday. I did not get up in time to make it to church. I rolled out of bed and headed into my school to get some housecleaning items taken care of. I graded some folders, wrote some emails, made some copies, but then I gave up and came home.

Now, as I sit here in this quiet house, it is just me and the thoughts running through my head.

Why am I so alone? Why have I spent so much of my life secluded from others?

I needed something to help cheer me up, and this song is my go-to song when I need a pick-me-up.

Will I be alone forever? I hope not? But, I need to figure out how to come out of my secluded shell.

On another note, I have applied for a new job. This one would require me to live in the Nashville area. I think it is time for me to relocate and start anew. The job I have applied for is a Communications Associate. It is a far cry from teaching middle school children, but this would be a job with the state teachers union. I would still be working with the teachers and for a better education system. I don't expect to get the job as I am not totally qualified for this job. However, I am hoping that my passion for the association and my willingness to learn will propel me to the front of the line.

Thanks for listening to the randomness that is my mind.

Love you all!